i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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