i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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