Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
