Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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