Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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