Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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