I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
