it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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