She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
