Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
