I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
