I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
