I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I have aggressive nipples.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
