hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
