Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
