Can i not drive my cunt home
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
