after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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