You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
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FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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