Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
