I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
