how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
