just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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