summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
