I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
