I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
