i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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