I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
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You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
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Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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