that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
