I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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