He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
