I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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