Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Everyone says I win the strip club
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
