were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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