I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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