im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm at about main and main street
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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