Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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