I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize