He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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