T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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