I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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