The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize