tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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