I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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