i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
are you so shy because you have an std?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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