I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
