Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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