I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
