What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
