Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
