Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
