Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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