Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're a waste of cheezeits
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
