Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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