So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
