good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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