Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
