Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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