I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
