Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
