It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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