the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
