Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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