So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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