yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
worst night to have a conscience
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
